Fictional Testimonials
“If I was given three wishes, I would first ask for unlimited wishes. Once I had exhausted all other possibilities, I would ask for tickets to Jonnie W.’s next show. The guy is brilliant!”
-Bill Gates- Computer Enthusiast
“Once in a generation, someone comes along with the innate ability to inspire us all. Jonnie W. will make fun of that person, and you’ll feel better about yourself.”
-Tony Robbins- Author, Motivational Speaker
“I believe in three things: The infinite power of hope, the comedy of Jonnie W., and the Tooth Fairy. In fact, I believe that Jonnie is the Tooth Fairy.”
-Oprah Winfrey- Book Club President
“Jonnie make laugh so hard, me not want to eat him.”
-Bigfoot- Mythical Creature, Hair-care Professional
“There are only two kinds of people in this world: Those who find Jonnie hilarious and those who haven’t met him yet……..and vampires.”
-Joaquin Phoenix- Hip-hop Performer
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-R2-D2- Droid, Remote Controlled Projector
“Even though I am from a distant galaxy, I must admit that Jonnie’s sense of timing resonated with me on a cosmic level……. DIE, Earthlings, DIE!”
-Khan- Intergalactic Space Tyrant
“Whatever you do, DO NOT go see Jonnie W. live. Total waste of your time.”
-Dr. James Wilson- Professor of Reverse Psychology, Yale University
“A lot of people said that Jonnie’s standup couldn’t bring about world peace. And those people were right. But no one was killed during the show, and I say that’s progress.”
-John Lennon- Musician
